D’Bank, Jaya Jusco & An-Nur

D’Bank, Wed 25 Feb 2009: 10.10 a.m.

Mem-the-boss called me to cafeteria, revealing her plan to take out some of many tasks from my portfolio.

Mixed feelings…

Apart of me was relief considering few conditions, been tied up with the new system that requires most of my time and attention, not being able to complete business plan for the team that was supposed to be done much more earlier simply for two reasons: no time and no extra help, completely ignoring most of other things just to strictly adhere to the timeline given for the project.

Another part of me, I’d say unhappy. By taking some of the tasks from me reflecting that me not capable to do everything that was tasked to me. I know I put lots of pressure to myself. I put higher benchmark for myself to reach, which I totally forgotten about the limit one has.


Jaya Jusco Midvalley, Wed 25 Feb 2009: 8.30 p.m.

People swarming JJ like no tomorrow, I never been in such crowd. If not for Jimi’s driver that he aimed to buy during JJ members' day, I’d rather be at home thinking thru of what I heard in the morning.

While Jimi and his eagerness for cheap driver exploring JJ’s sport section, me absent mindedly text mem about my feeling. She on a speed of Daphne (please refer to Hero season 3 ya heheh) responded to my SMS, rendering some motivation and advice, relaying her guilty feeling for putting the pressure on me without any help, guilty to the baby too, she said she wanted to fix it. Kept on giving some assurance that ‘capable’ was not the reason, rather, a good team to back me up and soar.

Hmmm I took it positively…so some remedy for that day. I spent ‘some’ money hehehe!!! Blame it on Jimi for dragging me there…tak abis2 nak salahkan Jimi jugak hehehe :D


An-Nur Hospital, Monday 2 March 2009: 10.30 a.m.

Emergency D&C, that’s what doc told me that for any sign of bleeding before my scheduled D&C on Tuesday. Baby had been there long enough after the first discovery of the heartbeat.

Any allergic? Nurse asked. I said no, but Jimi smiled sarcastically. ‘Bukan u allergic kat DAT ke?’ he said immediately after the nurse left the room. Ceh!

At the age of 9 weeks, baby was removed completely from my womb, leaving a great pain, twice of what I suffer every month.

Dare to ask my feeling? Hmmm I didn’t feel anything. Yeah, I cried the first time doc told about the heartbeat, but not the second and third. Probably me and Jimi keep on assuring ourselves that we can make more great babies after this. Wah! Very optimistic hehehe.

I think I am :)